The Howard Stern Show
NOVEMBER 10th, 2003

EDITOR'S NOTE: Norm’s appearance on Stern to promote Stan Hooper lasted a little over an hour and a half. Not all of it was what I’d call “Quality Norm” so I’ve decided to break up the segments and give my advice as to how much effort you should put into actually taking the time to listen to each one.

A big big thanks for Newt Floss for proving this audio clip.


Segment One

Norm comes in by Howard and the gang are more preoccupied with examining Chaunce’s deformed penis. Come back and listen to this one last if you crave more Norm.


Segment Two

Norm talks about the show a bit and bullshits about how big of a success it is. He also talks about Stan Hooper’s pointless premier.


Segment Three

For some reason they go back to talking about Chaunce’s penis and how to masturbate with inanimate objects.


Segment Four

Stern had recently appeared on Letterman and had some stories about being a part of Letterman’s audience. Norm seems confused if they’re actually on the air or not.


Segment Five

Norm talks about meeting a pope imposter, then moves on to explaining about how he’s quit gambling. Norm continues to get bleeped so we lose about half of his punch lines. Stern finally gets him to watch his mouth. Most of the conversation is about Norm’s gambling.


Segment Six

Howard is confused whether Norm’s divorce is final or not. Once it’s cleared up that the divorce is final, Stern goes on to ask about Norm’s love life.


Segment Seven

Stern takes a variety of calls from people who hate Norm.


Segment Eight

They finally get around to talking a bit about the show. Then, of course, back to Norm’s love life (or lack-there-of).


Segment Nine

Stern goes over some Norm related rumors, for example, Sagat’s feud with Norm. Artie talks about this article:

Then they go over Norm’s obvious history (Weekend Update, “The Norm Show”)


Segment Ten

Stern takes some more calls about Norm. These people seem to be more along the lines of fans.


Segment Eleven

Stern and Norm talk politics. Norm goes as far as he’s ever gone in public by supporting George Bush and chastising Canada for not supporting the war in Iraq. Stern completely agrees with him and also supports Bush. It is interesting that NOW Stern is calling on his voters to vote out George Bush due to Bush only being a puppet for the radical religious right.


Segment Twelve

Stern asks about who Norm’s been hanging out with lately. Since Norm says he only “hangs out” with his child, he talks a bit about his son. The conversation turns into circumcision.


Segment Thirteen

Robin starts doing “The news” and they get sidetracked by her first story about Wayne Brady and his tribute to Bobby Hatfield. Half of this segment is taken up by horrible singing by both Wayne Brady and then Howard.


Segment Fourteen

Norm rebounds from the previous horrible segment by telling a story about George Miller’s famous last words.


Segment Fifteen

Stern tries to get Norm to sing, Norm talks about basketball, they all talk about a news story about child neglect. They have a horrible bit about naming children after famous things (not people). They discuss Prince Charles presumably being gay. They discuss a man who killed another man after he urinated in his beer. They take a confusing call from a Rosie O’Donnell impersonator.


Segment Sixteen

Two girls come in for the sole purpose of demonstrating how to give a woman Blended O’ Orgasm (A manual orgasm stimulating both the “C spot and the G spot”) The two women pleasure each other on the air and the FCC gets more fodder for their witch hunt. Norm refuses to look at the naked women.


Segment Seventeen

The gang is still reeling from the past segment. Norm does a nice bit about the trouble with watching porno.


Segment Eighteen

They all wrap things up by talking about random news stories.